The One With One Holiday Down.... 2 to go!

Well, we made it through Halloween.  And I managed to do better than I expected or ever have at staying out of the Halloween candy.  Today, I took all the fodder for derailing me and making me drop into the self-loathing stage chocolate out of the bucket (we have what Brian calls "socialist candy" here) and put it in a ziploc bag at the bottom of the chest freezer.  I hate getting in there, so it should be safe.  And this way the boys still get to have their treats now and then.

I am kinda freaked at how to avoid all the junk of the upcoming holiday season.  I don't want it... I just need to not eat it.  Easier said than done, though I have been doing pretty darn good if I do say so myself, when it comes to will power.

I know we will have stuff in the house. I think my focus just needs to be on keeping things in the house that are good for me that I like, too.  That way if I do feel the need to snack, I don't totally blow it on some crap I don't want or need.

I am starting to notice small differences in my body, too.  I think I've dropped a pants size.  I am having a hello of a time keeping them up at the most in opportune moments.  But since we don't have any clothing stores here (unless I want to wear Wranglers, and I don't really) I have to wait until we are in civilization at some point.  I see and feel muscles defining in my legs that I've never seen before.  It's kinda cool.

On Thursday, I figured I would just try Week 3 of the c25k, and if it was horrible, I would go back to Week 2.  With only 2 short mini-breaks where I paused the workout on my app before running again, I did THE WHOLE THING!  That's insane!  I jogged for 3 minutes without stopping, or dying.  Do you know what kind of a feat that is for me?  I still am not loving the running when I am doing it, but I am really enjoying the feeling that I get when I finish one of the runs.

Other than working out and consciously making healthier food choices, the thing I am working on right now is working on not berating myself, or discounting what I am doing.  It's easy and habit for me to say something to someone about running or that I am training for a 5k, and then follow it up with something like "Oh, well, I'm not really running much."  Or, "training, HA!" Like because I am fat, I can't run and I can't train.  I don't want to box myself in like that, because I AM running and I am training.  My training isn't like that of a seasoned athlete preparing for a full marathon or triathlon, but it is the training of someone who wants to change their life, and who WILL run a 5k.  My runs may only be 90 seconds long, but it is RUNNING!  And they will get longer, and the walks will get shorter.

I am very much looking forward to Monday's weigh-in.  If things stay like they have been the last 2 mornings, I am DONE with the 250s!  We'll see though, only 3 days and 2 workouts until then! :)

And just for cuteness factor, here are the boys in their Halloween costumes - 

The One Where I Can See the Future

What, you didn't know I was psycho psychic?  But I AM!  I can see the future.

Do you want to know what I see?  I see me running my first 5k.  I see my husband and sons at the end of it, yelling and cheering for me as I get closer and closer to the finish line.  The finish line!  I see the finish line of a 5k.  And not from a spectator standpoint either.  From that of a competitor.  Do you know what it looks like?  It's amazing.

That's what I saw today on Week 2 Day 2 of the c25k.  I had to visualize it.  If I hadn't, I don't think I would have been able to finish.  I ran Day 1 on Thursday at the gym, and felt great.  I ran Day 2 today at home, and thought I was dying.  It has to be the incline on my treadmill, right?  What else could explain how much harder it was today?  But I did it still.

And you know what?  Though I know the view of that finish line is gorgeous - I bet the feeling of being there is even better.  I'll let you know.  Just gotta wait for the future to get here.

As far as my eating is going, I've been doing pretty good.  I won't lie to you and say it's been 100% and I have no room for improvement.  But I DO think about things a lot more before I eat.  And I really make it a point to look at food as fuel and not comfort.  I am trying to find comfort in other things, myself mostly.  That can be a bit trying at times.  I know I won't be disappointed by food - it's the same.  It can't hurt my feelings or tell me it hates me or fight with it's brother.  But it WILL make me unhappy in the long run.  So I try to remember that.  And try to move on.  And be happy with me. Because you know what?  I rock!  And so does Heidi. :) ♥

Oh, and as an aside, there is nothing like having to stop a run to wipe someone's butt.  Talk about a reality check. :)