Regaining Lost Ground

So I've been pretty quiet.  The quietness has been my refusal (or denial) to accept that I've lost a lot of ground.  Both on the scale, and with the running.  I could tell you all my excuses reasons why, but I won't.  Because no matter what the issues were, it doesn't change the now. The simple fact is that I wasn't putting in the effort, and I wasn't eating like I should.

One thing I think that has put up a road block for me is fear of who I will be when I get to goal.  Everyone talks about this "new person" they become when they lose weight, or go through any major life altering event.  I don't WANT to change.  I like who I am.  Do they mean personality, or habits, or likes, or what?  I don't do well with change.  I am a planner.  So I have a fear of myself.  Pretty stupid and irrational, but I believe that's the definition of true fear.  Why can't I shake it?  Any suggestions you have on the matter would be HUGELY appreciated.

So I am trying to regain the ground I lost, and just find a "new normal" for me, and go with it.  I want this, I want to be healthier, and know that I will be around for my boys, and that's my driving factor right now - the 3 (okay 4, Brian is one of the Rowdy Bunch, too) of them.