Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A Letter to Me

 Dear Me,

You're stuck.  I get that. Getting below 235 seems like the impossible right now.  You are amazing at self-sabotage.  The scale showing 240 again today proves that.

What I don't get is WHY???  What is it about 230 that seems so scary to you?  It has to be fear that's keeping you from moving forward.  It's not lack of knowledge.  You know what to do, and how to do it.

You've been doing great (for the most part) with exercising and running.  Last week you even ran your first sub 15:00 minute mile!  That's HUGE!  That's FIVE MINUTES less than when you started, PER MILE!

I wish you could see what other people seem to see.  And stop being so damn self-critical.  You're not going to be perfect, ever. No one is.  Get over it and on with it.

Rather than focusing on what you can't do right now, it seems about damn time we start focusing on what you CAN again.  You CAN run so much farther and faster than you could in October.  You have stuck with this since then, too.  That's 5 months.  That in and of itself is amazing.  This is a life change for you.  Not something temporary.  Better get used to the idea, though I do have to say that your outlook for the most part is a positive one.  Not wanting to lose any more ground is a good place to be.

I know you can do this, and more importantly, I know you WILL do this.  We just gotta find a way to get around, or over, under, through, whatever, this boulder in the road!


P.S.  You finally found a 5k to run!  GOOD JOB!  The Salt Lake City Adoption 5k Family Fun Run and Walk is only 6 weeks away.  Stop being scared.  You can do this.  You will be great!  :)  And I know there will be a few people excited to hear about your first race.  So breathe.  just breathe.


  1. That's awesome about your first 5K!
    Do you plan to run the whole way? If so, do you have a time that you'd like to make?

    Funny that at the end you put "Just breath".
    Because of this blog, I ended up buying a bondi band! It's black and on the front in pink letters it says "Just Breath". :)

    Make sure you get someone to take lots of pictures when you have your run!

  2. You can do this, no doubt!!! Keep going, keep your head up. Whether that scale is moving or not, you're making so much progress, and that's what's important!

    I was the same way.. Getting out of the 200s seemed impossible. I kept backtracking and sabotaging myself. Getting out of the 170s has been the death of me since April. I've moved all around the 170s, but don't seem to want to get out of them. I've seen the 160s, but then the 170s came back. I just know that I'm working, I'm changing, and someday it'll happen!