Monday, June 20, 2011

Rough Day...

Today has been hard for me.  Really hard.  I got on the scale to see just how much I've gained back.  17lbs.  Ouch!  I am so mad at myself, and for letting everything be more important than me again.

This starts such a spiral in me, too.  It's where the "what does it matter" thoughts come from.  And the "it's never going to happen" thoughts.

I HAVE to get back on track.  And I need to learn to like me again.  I think part of the down in the dumps crap is all part of being female and having wacked out hormones for part of the month.  And part of it is that I realize NOW how much better I felt.  It sure didn't seem like I was getting anywhere, but I know better now.  Why is it that hindsight is always 20/20?  And why is it that getting back there now seems so much harder than it did before?

I wish someone could give me answers to these questions, though they are more rhetorical than anything.  Tomorrow is another day, and I will do something for me to make me feel better... I just need to figure out what it is.

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