Tuesday, October 26, 2010


I am so frustrated. And I feel selfish because I am frustrated. I am a wife and a mother, and my family comes before myself always. Usually I can take time for myself, and I find that I really need that time to stay sane, and stay the course of this journey. Unfortunately lately I can't find this time. My husband is having a very personal pain issue, and is off from work for the rest of this week at least, probably next week as well. I've been spending more time in the car, which means more fast food temptation. I've been working which means I am exhausted and crabby, which usually also means I don't want to have to worry about what I'm eating. Today I came home from work, and my son was sick, so I got him situated and fed, and I climbed on the couch. I slept for 2 hours before my husband woke me up needing me to take him to the ER because his pain was so out of control. So I woke up, showered, got my son to my mother-in-laws house, took my husband to the ER, then to his work to get everything situated with his needed time off. Then it was to the pharmacy, to MIL's, back to the pharmacy, to the grocery store and home. I ate something quick, and easy and layed down to sleep some more. I had to take a 5 Hour Energy at the hospital because I was falling asleep in the waiting room. I slept about 3-4 more hours this afternoon. I had no time to exercise today. I had no energy to worry about what I was eating today. Tomorrow I have to sleep, and get my paycheck into my checking account. Thursday my husband has an appointment with the surgeon, and then hopefully he'll have surgery to take care of the issue very shortly after that. Between all of that I have to take care of my husband, take care of my son. But, that means I have no time left to care for myself. I feel very frustrated right now, and with the frustration comes feeling of selfishness. But, no time for that because it is now time for me to get my scrubs on and go to work.

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