Please excuse my last blog post. I had a bad day, and I let the stress get to me. I felt that everything was out of my control, and I wasn't dealing well with the frustration. Life got in the way! I have PCOS, and (TMI warning) I had just gotten my period after its been absent for three months. We had taken a ride to Green Bay and eaten horrible the entire day. Work was stressful. My husband hasn't been feeling well, been missing work, and was in the ER. I kept my son home from school on Tuesday. School was called off yesterday because of the wind storm. I didn't have the quiet time to myself that I usually do during the week. I use that time to workout, plan what I eat, and take care of myself. Without that time I felt out of control, and I didn't like it at all.
I am a caregiver by nature. I'm a CNA, a wife, a mom. I love my job (most of the time LOL), I love my husband and my son more than anything. What I'm learning, though, is that I have to take care of myself as well, and that I cannot take care of everyone's needs all the time. So, I have learned to exercise when I want/need to exercise, no matter who else is around, or what else is going on. I had a major fear of working out in front of my husband. While I still experience anxiety over it, I have to just do it, and I have! Ethan even Turbo Jam'd with me the other day. I have also learned to ask for help. After my husband got out of the ER the other day I had to stop and get gas. Our gas station is attached to an A&W, and I had a craving for cheese curds. I asked my hubby "are you hungry? Cause we can head through the drive-thru. I want cheese curds." He was amazing, and he talked me out of it! Then last night I had slept all day after working. The last thing I want to worry about when I wake up is supper. I told him that he was in charge cause I wasn't making anything. He took Ethan to the grocery store. He made a big, beautiful spinach salad. It was super healthy and filling! I was able to eat healthy all day because of his support!
I also have created a mini support system of friends online. Erin is one of my biggest supports and motivation. She is completely rocking her Couch to 5K program! I became a beachbody coach to help hold myself accountable.
In the end we all have to reach out for help and support. We cannot do this on our own. At least I know I can't! I know that the feelings of being out of control is a trigger for destructive behavior that will derail me. When I get those feelings I will reach out. I will ask for help. I will find time to exercise when I feel I need it.